Sassy Bill's drunken adventure

Ok, so I was reading the profiles of my friends and stumbled upon Jimmy's talk of how I was drunk that fateful night when my lappy died.

He gave all of this:

..

So I have a friend here at college named Sassy Bill. He's a very shy and introverted person...usually. He came over tonight to watch a movie and wind down on his last night here before break. Dustin and Heather then came in and decided that they wanted to drink. Heather offered Sassy some vodka and he said that he hould drink a little. Three rather large glasses of vodka and grape soda(I think) later, Sassy Bill was on key. There were some strange things said and merryment had by all. Sassy wanted to go pee on JCFA, and so our journey began. We walked across campus and instead opted to go to the Chi house while Sassy was out of his proverbial shell. He ran through the house for a little bit and we came on back to the room. More weird shit was said then we put him to bed. This guy is great, he needs to drink more. Maybe this will bring him out more to other people. He also IM'ed me from his room...

smrunyan04: i'm not drunk
smrunyan04: owww i hut myself in the nads
smrunyan04: i'll bring you your cup back
phat fat juggalo: not now sassy
smrunyan04: lol
phat fat juggalo: we'll get it sometime
phat fat juggalo: stay in your room
smrunyan04: no i'll bring it tomorrow
phat fat juggalo: ok
smrunyan04: i'm NOT drunk
smrunyan04: i'm happy :p
phat fat juggalo: i'm glad you're happy
smrunyan04: so i did'nt pee on jcfa
smrunyan04: EEEEEEEH!!!!!
phat fat juggalo: we'll get it someday
smrunyan04: but i have to take logan's kurti's his game back
phat fat juggalo: not now
phat fat juggalo: tomorrow sassy
smrunyan04: but
smrunyan04: ok
smrunyan04: GETTING JIGGY WITH IT !
smrunyan04: NAH NAH NAH NAH NANANA!
phat fat juggalo: wut wut
smrunyan04: but i ahve to brush my teeth
smrunyan04: i can't get my pants off
phat fat juggalo: hahaha
phat fat juggalo: unbutton them sassy
smrunyan04: HAHAHAH
smrunyan04: i tried
smrunyan04: wait
phat fat juggalo: ok...
smrunyan04: ethere we go
smrunyan04: i'm uin my underpants!
smrunyan04: i'm not drunk because i could stand on one leg to get my shorts on
smrunyan04: i lost my sock........
smrunyan04: my pupils are so big
phat fat juggalo: you're fine sassy
smrunyan04 returned at 1:30:31 AM.
smrunyan04: I can tell you one thing
phat fat juggalo: what's that sassy
smrunyan04: HGEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!
phat fat juggalo: is that what you wanted to tell me
smrunyan04: my penis isn't small
phat fat juggalo: hahaha
smrunyan04: well maybe it is...
phat fat juggalo: eh, i'm sure it's ok sassy
smrunyan04: *GIGGLES*
phat fat juggalo: ...
phat fat juggalo: don't do that sassy
smrunyan04: dont gigle?
phat fat juggalo: yeah, seems real gay
smrunyan04: i'mvno5 rtqyvqne i'mvno5 qe45unk
smrunyan04: *i'm not gay and i'm not drunk
phat fat juggalo:.. i'mvno5 rtqyvqne i'mvno5 qe45unk..... what does that mean?
smrunyan04: it means i' mnot ogay and i'm not drunk
phat fat juggalo: ok sassy
smrunyan04: lol
smrunyan04: i have to pee agin
phat fat juggalo: go pee then, don't lock yourself out of your room sassy
phat fat juggalo: be careful of z though
smrunyan04: eh zeehshan is cool
phat fat juggalo: he's your ra, you get in trouble for being drunk man
smrunyan04: qoq i'm dR
smrunyan04: WOW I FAT
phat fat juggalo: what?
smrunyan04: the pics dustin sent
phat fat juggalo: no you're not sassy
phat fat juggalo: you'll be ok man
smrunyan04: k..
smrunyan04: da ktit wont send
phat fat juggalo: what sassy
smrunyan04: i have to pee
smrunyan04: i wouldnt tyuupe and press return
phat fat juggalo: go then and be careful
phat fat juggalo: remember to take your key
smrunyan04: i'm not drunk jimmyu
smrunyan04: i can take care of myself
phat fat juggalo: ok sassy
smrunyan04: you think i'm lying
smrunyan04: i'm gonna go pee i'll be back
phat fat juggalo: ok
phat fat juggalo: i'm just looking out for ya buddy
smrunyan04: but i'm notdrunk
smrunyan04: iu hav e my keeysin my hand
phat fat juggalo: ok

Sassy then signed off to go to the bathroom. Next thing I know he's at my door knocking with our cup in his hand. He didn't even put pants on, Sassy usually won't even open the door in his shorts. So this was rather shocking. He got kinda emotional because we are going on break and won't see eachother for a bit, until I said that Dustin and I would try and come see him. He responded with an "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH" (think Fonzi). I haven't heard from him in a bit, I hope he went to sleep. Oh well, good times here at school.

..

I would just like to put my part of the story here, and really, isn't the drunk person's story the most important?.. Haha, no, but you're going to read it anyways, aren't you?

So it pretty much started with like Jimmy said... I was offered a bit to drink, and three rather large cups of vodka later (yes, there WAS a bit of grape soda in there!) I was on top of the world... I can't remember much about the beginning, other than that I for some reason decided it'd be a good idea to get pictures of me taken... So I did the only natural thing; took off my shirt and posed... I'll post those pics later; you can see my dead sexy man boobs... There's also one where I guess I was trying to raise my arms or something... Huh...

Well, so later I had to pee... I had to pee real bad... So Jimmy walks me to the bathroom, and I guess I stand there for a little while before saying, "Found it!".. And then I started peeing... A few seconds later, "I don't have a small penis!".. *pause*.. "I don't!"

I started asking people if I was sexy at one point... I have no idea why... I remember raising my shirt up partway, showing half my chest, and asking Jimmy, "What would you do if I did this?".... His response [I think anyways] was, "Probably just grin and laugh like I am now."

So I go back to watching the movie I think, and then a little while later Jimmy looks over at me from his computer and I just go, "EEEHHY!".. and give the thumbs up... Fonzi is so cool.

And then..... for some reason I get the idea to go pee on JCFA... We went to the Chi house instead, and I did my Fonzi "EEEHHHYY!!".. thing to a bunch of people... Good times.

We walk back, they put me to bed, and I start IM'ing Jimmy... Read convo above... Well I take back the cup, and when I don't message him, its because I spilled a mix of soda and water on my laptop... Yeah......

For some reason I decided it'd be a good idea to take an old cup of water I had, and a flat soda I had, mix them together, and LEAVE THE CUP ON TOP OF MY DESK... It stayed there for a few days because I was too lazy... IDIOT!.. Now i'm looking to pay bunches for a new baby.

But back on topic:.. I spill it... I run to the corner (I'm drunk, ya?.. Running in my room....) And see I only have two paper towels left... Well, I use them and then there's still a huge mess........ I go to the bathroom, steal a roll of toilet paper (and I think this is about 4:30 a.m., i'm not completely sure though) and when I'm coming out, one of the guys on my floor comes into the bathroom.

Now, I'm drunk, and he's going to the bathroom late at night... Obviously, this is a weird encounter for the both of us... I look down at my shirt and shorts (I'm pretty sure I had my shorts on when I took Jimmy his cup back), and I have MASSIVE spills on my right side of my chest and around my crotch... It pretty much looked like I had lactated and pissed myself... And I was stealing a roll of toilet paper for some reason... And of course, I was drunk, and I think he knew it, so he probbaly thinks I did piss myself... Pissed myself really, really bad.

But you know, I was unusually quick on my feet, as demonstrated in our convo:

*Guy opens door*

*I look down*

Me:.. "EHHHY!"

Me:.. "What's up?!"

*Guy looks at me, sees the wet marks*

Him:.. "Nothing."

Me:.. "All right then!"

I'm not sure if I saluted him or not... I can't remember.

But anyways, I go back to my room and try to clean it up... So I don't see anymore on the keyboard (never mind that it was pretty full cup) and turn it on... Well, obviously, nothing happens except for the fan turning on... But I'm drunk, and my reasoning is, "Well, the fan is on... That will help it dry out."

So I lay there in bed, the fan continually going on my compy... I never fell asleep, I remember laying there at 7:30 as the sun began to rise, thinking, "hmm, I think I'll write my friend in Illinois.".. And then I blacked out.

Well, I..came to..at 9 or 9:30 when Dustin and Jimmy knocked on my door to see if I was ok... Then they told me it was snowing... I got my glasses, looked out the window, and was not the least bit caring about snow... And then I went back to bed and contemplated throwing up.

All in all, a good night, except for, you know, killing my baby... Which leads into my next blog..... To be posted either here in a few or tomorrow or something....

..

oh, and i'm not actually listening to music... my baby died and i'm in the computer lab... where you can't listen to music... or talk on yahoo messenger... ghey.